Therapy or coaching: Which is right for me?
When I explain what I do as a health and wellness coach, many people often wonder how coaching and therapy are different. They know that the modalities have some things in common, but they are confused about the differences and often are wondering which one would be a better fit for their needs.
This is a question I have been wrestling with for the past couple of years while working on my doctoral dissertation, so I thought I would share a few highlights of what I have learned through my work as a coach and a therapist and through my research. My hope is that these highlights will help you to make an informed decision.
Therapy and coaching share common features but they are not the same
On the surface, a therapeutic conversation and a coaching conversation may seem to be very similar. Both involve having a meaningful and potentially powerful conversation within a safe and confidential relational space that two people create together. Both coaches and therapists provide support, empathy, understanding, and a commitment to helping their clients learn about themselves and grow. Both involve active listening, reflection, and often goal setting, and are built upon a robust foundation of psychological and behavioral theories. When a coach or therapist is skilled in their craft, the client will feel deeply seen and understood, inspired, and empowered to draw upon internal and external resources to move toward their life goals.
However, considerable differences exist between coaching and therapy as well. The primary difference is that therapy is a clinical intervention that is intended to help the patient/client alleviate mental and emotional suffering, resolve traumas, address dysfunctional behaviors, and process difficult emotions and experiences. Therapists are highly trained clinical providers who can diagnose and treat mental health disorders, including anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, eating disorders, trauma and more. Therapists must have completed masters or doctoral level training in a mental health field and many hours of supervised experience in order to practice independently in a clinical role. They are trained to dive deep into the emotional experiences of their clients and help these clients process the past and heal so that they can move forward in their lives with less suffering and more joy.
Coaches, on the other hand, are typically not clinical providers. Some clients share that their experiences in coaching are “therapeutic” - however, this is not the goal of coaching. Assuming that the coach has engaged in professional coach training, they may be skilled professionals who have mastered the art of having powerful conversations that motivate and empower clients to identify their goals, create a clear vision for what they want, and find ways to move toward those goals. Their role is not to diagnose, treat, or prescribe. Rather, their goal is to empower, motivate, and mobilize. They ask powerful questions, help clients craft visions and come up with action steps that align with their self-determined goals.
How do I know which one I need?
The general rule of thumb I offer is to assess whether the primary issue you are hoping to address is a mental health problem or a life goal. If you are struggling with a mental or emotional problem that you are having a hard time solving, then therapy may be indicated. If you are stuck in a rut and can’t move forward, therapy may be just what you need. Are you suffering from low mood, negative or ruminative thoughts, anxiety, chronic or severe stress, trauma, disordered eating, worries about feeling disconnected from reality, or suicidal thoughts or feelings? If so, please do not delay, and go and find a therapist or other licensed mental health care provider right away.
If, on the other hand, you feel you are doing ok in the mental health department overall, but maybe are feeling a little blah, stressed, or uninspired, or you know that life could feel more aligned, richer, more rewarding, or otherwise more fulfilling, a well-matched coach could be a wonderful source of support. Do you sense you need some help getting unstuck in the areas of career, professional development, academic goals, health and wellness goals, fitness, or performance in various areas? Or do you feel like you could use some support and accountability to build healthy habits, get organized, manage stress, or work through tricky life decisions and transitions. These are all areas that a skilled certified coach is well-suited to address.
How do I choose the right person to help me?
Finding the right source of support is critical. The coaching and therapeutic research both highlight the importance of the therapeutic relationship or coaching alliance in achieving positive outcomes. The quality of the relationship often dictates how successful the process will be. Therefore, spending time finding the right coach or therapist is worth your time whenever possible.
When finding therapists, resources like Psychology Today can be wonderfully helpful. Another option is to connect with a trusted healthcare provider and ask for referrals for therapists licensed in your state. Try to find a provider that has expertise in the area you wish to address, and see if they offer complimentary consultation calls so you can gauge your level of comfort with that potential therapist.
Finding a skilled coach is a little tricker because the coaching field is unregulated. Technically, anyone can call themselves a coach, so please be sure to do your research to ensure that your coach is trained by a coaching program accredited through the National Board for Health and Wellness Coaching (NBHWC) or the International Coaching Federation (ICF). If you select a coach with a national or international certification, you can feel increased confidence that the coach will be knowledgeable about evidence-based coaching practices and will operate in an ethical manner within their appropriate coaching scope of practice. Also, prioritize goodness of fit. Most coaches offer free discovery or consultation calls. You are entering a partnership with this person, and you must be able to trust that they will offer the expertise and support you need. Have they overcome a challenge like the one you are hoping to address? Do they have additional training or skills that relate to the issues on your mind? These are other factors to consider.
The bottom line is that help comes in many forms. Find the one that suits you best!
I feel strongly that we all need to build a team of support. Life is hard and we do not have to navigate it alone. This team can include family, friends, colleagues, community members, teachers, mentors, and experts. Consider including a therapist or a coach on your team. Better yet, think about including both! A therapist may help you heal unprocessed material that is getting in the way or holding you back, and a coach will help you figure out how to get from where you are now to where you want to go in an area that is meaningful to you. You have important things to do, so please, build that team and get started moving toward the life you envision for yourself. You deserve it.
